Thursday, October 2, 2008

Whoever Coined the Phrase...

"Try to grow old gracefully", must have been all of 25 years old, because its next to impossible to do.

Since it has sunk in that I'm another year older, I find myself lookin' in the mirror more at my "imperfections." (That's nice talk for wrinkles, creases and crevices) I'm startin' to have a slight resemblance to Duke from the Beverly Hillbillies. But I'm thinkin' my eyes are a lil' more droopier than his.

Ya know, when I was young my skin was as slick as the Exxon Valdez. As a teen, I bought Stridex Pads by the case. Now I practically do a swan dive in my Oil of Olay tryin' to keep my skin hydrated, yet I see my pores coughin' dust. I drink gallons and gallons of water on a daily basis and the only difference I've noticed is I'm goin' through more toilet paper.

And what's with these occasional break outs at my age? I thought I was over that years ago. All I know is I'm sportin' me a pitcher's mound on my left cheek. I'm waitin' for Mike Mussina to show up lookin' to strike out some players on my face.

On top of all this I get to look forward to menopause?! Oh YaY, I can hardly wait! Tack on ragin' hormones, sleepless nights and hot flashes??!! Heck, I may as well lay my wrinkly ol' self flat out in the middle of State Route 12B and wait for a Wal*Mart semi to get it over with.

Nah... Instead I'll just cannonball into a vat of olive oil.
:> )


Char said...

Must have been the same idiot that coined the phrase "The Golden Years"!...I still have not figured out what is so Golden about them!

Laura said...

We all feel that way when another year comes rollin around. You have pretty much sumed it up on how we all feel as time marches agross our face,so feel comfort that we are all with ya !! Anyway your a cutie so no worries !

Raggedy Angel said...

I know really just sucks!

La Donna Welter said...

Friend...I'm hearin' you! I'm starting to buy olive oil in bulk! : )
Also, I wanted to thank you for the nice comment about my bird cage paper cut, you are a sweet heart!
La Donna

Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

oh yeah the hotflashes are will feel like you are burning from the inside ain't sleep..not nice..I read your comments to my best friend and we both got a chuckle...cause we are walking down your road already sista...have a good one..")

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