Sunday, January 4, 2009

Gotta Get Up Early In The Mornin'...

because tomorrow I officially start eatin' healthier and also start my exercise routine. Yeah, yeah... I know I said Arbor Day was the day, but if I keep puttin' on the feedbag like I have been, I'll be waddlin' my way through the house by then.

Here's a question. Can someone please tell me why is it food that's really good for you, tastes like sh*t? (For the record, I've never really tasted sh*t, but you know what I mean)

Spinach is a perfect example. Its like eatin' grass. Heck, why not tie a cowbell around my neck and send me out to pasture? I'll get three squares a day and keep the lawn well manicured; killin' two birds with one stone.

Sure, I can douse it in butter but doesn't that defeat the purpose of "healthy eatin'?" Maybe if I get me some anchor tattoos on my forearms it will taste better. "I yam what I yam."

Hubs went to the healthfood store to pick me up a few things. (Lucky me) Since I'm one of those people who have a hard time swallowin' pills, most everythin' has to be in liquid form which is 100 times worse as far as taste goes.

So now I'm takin' Cod Liver Oil. (Please just shoot me now)
Believe me when I tell ya, even with a Big Mac chaser; it couldn't get that nasty taste out of my mouth.

Next is another liquid tidbit called Flax Seed Oil. Why the heck do I need this stuff anyway?? It is so horrid, I would rather have to take it as a suppository than ingest this crap. But alas, they don't make it "that way" so down the hatch it must go. Besides, it would probably make my butt pucker anyway.(Yep, it really is that bad)

Finally he shows me a multi vitamin to take. "Look how small it is!" he says tryin' to convince me. "I bet you can take this without any problems."

I swear, the thing was the size of The Goodyear Blimp. Oh yeah no doubt that will definitely get lodged halfway down my esophagus on my first attempt. I'd better practice doin' the Heimlich maneuver on myself and keep a chair handy.

So with that bein' said, I think I'll wolf down what's left of the hidden stash of Christmas cookies. Shhhhh... I've still got a few hours left.
:> )


JeanM said...

Enjoy those secret cookies the Flax oil will help push them out LOL. I have a quick and easy flax bread recipe if you need one. Takes 25 mins from make to eat! tastes great too!
angel2cook at aol dot com

Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

Oh who needs all that stuff..when I can get my daily dose of you! crack me're easy to swallow and I never get and you don't taste like sh*t...heheeeeehhhheee...have a good one and I hope things go down more smoothly for you...:)

kat449 said...

PEEEEANUT!!!! Hey Baby girl...Congrats for wanting to eat healthier to make sure ya stay around for awhile longer just crackin up your fans!
Well "Katerpillars no more" is back!
please stop by for a couple of minutes to read my latest entry. (this morning) Maybe I could send ya some of my notes about the test Im studying for, and after learning all that lurks in our kitchens, maybe Cod liver oil would be a welcome snack!!!!
I am so excited to be back among my blogging buddies in our amazing community.
Keep up the good work and love (Gracies new Do) I loves ya girlfriend...Hugs, ((((Kat)))

Brenda said...

You're killin' me here! LOL! My Mom takes the Cod Live Oil in pill form (More like a gel pill) and IT IS the Goodyear Blimp! LOL! I don't think anything with the chaser "oil" can taste good or go down without incident. Think "motor OIL" and how good your motor will be working if you manage to take it and not puke, LOL! Hang in there, I know you can do it! B=)

Janelle said...

We can't have your butt puckerin...LOL
Love the GAP BAND song you've got playin...
Now when all that "natural" stuff gets in your system, you'll have to add "You Dropped the Bomb on Me"! :)
I'm going to have a brownie...


tattered 'n torn prims said...

How's things MOVIN' today darlin'!! Everything SMOOTH sailing????? tee hee hee!!! You've got me EXPLODING w/ laughter!!! hardy har har har!!! Cod Liver Oil and Flax Seed Oil huh???!!! YUMMY!!!! Hope you've had a good one (or at least a good number 2)today!!!! haaaa haaa haaa!! (Oh I could go on and on!!)

Happy healthy eating!!

D.M. McGowan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Chatty Kathy~Palmetto Prims said...

OMG, I think I'd rather just eat less and exercise more than take that crap. Matter of fact, I think I burned a few extra calories just laughing at your post!!! You sure you don't want to wait till Arbor Day? LOL!!!

Michelle said...

You are so funny!!! You need to be a comedian and do standup!

Now, the can add fresh garlic chopped while cooking and make it taste Fantastic with a fresh grate tiny pinch of nutmeg...YUM!

As for the Flax Seed Oil and the Cod Liver Oil.....add it to a chocolate flavored protein drink with frozen cherries, blueberries...peaches and some vanilla rice milk with ice. You won't taste a thing my friend.

If the vitamin comes in a capsule form open it and sprinkle it in your shake to...

Hope that helps. I am back on my healthy way to live kick to.


Martha said...

You are just too funny! I really enjoyed your post and found myself laughing out loud!
Good luck with your new healthy lifestyle!

Cookie said...

Goob... I watch hubs take cod liver oil and as he is downing a teaspoon of it, I'm making a mental note to kiss him AFTER he eats breakfast! I'd rather risk a goatee full of oatmeal smeared across my mug than smell what he just swallowed! Flax seed is good for dolly stuffin' but I'm not so sure about injesting the stuff. And to make matters worse, this stuff is FAR from cheap! You pay out the bung for such disgusting "feel betters" ♥

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