Monday, July 30, 2012

Cheaters, Cheaters Everywhere...

I like to think of myself as trying to grow old gracefully. I've come to grips with the fact that I have crows feet, lots of gray hairs, creases around my mouth, a pot belly and wrinkly knees. Unfortunately, I'm also working on a second chin.
But there's one thing I am not handling well at all and that is having to wear reading glasses. I can't stand not being able to see up close anymore.

Simple things like reading the phone book is next to impossible to do now. Even with cheaters, I still can't see the dang print. Sigh. My whole life I've always had great vision. I can spot a Snickers bar a mile away.

Now my daily routine consists of constantly reaching for cheaters. I do keep a pair on top of my head but I'm still reaching for another pair. Why? I don't know. It's become reflex.
Man, I can't count how many hairs I've lost to wire cheater hinges. I take the glasses off the top of my head and remove a clump of hair with them.

Then I'm constantly removing them off my face. I can't see up close without them on. I can't see far away with them on. Glasses on. Glasses off. I'm like a visually impaired Mr. Miagi.

I have those cute lil' eye glass chains, but those can be annoying. Swaying back and forth. Getting them caught on everything. Try putting on a seat belt with chained glasses around your neck. I have to leave 10 minutes early just to arrange everything. Better yet, try leaning over your grocery cart with them dangling. I become Harry Houdini in the dairy aisle trying to untangle myself. When I'm finally freed, the guy stocking cottage cheese applauds.

Or when someone wants to show me photos on their smart phone. Really?? Do you expect me to see those on that tiny screen? I can either stand 14 feet away and view them or hope I can whip out a pair of cheaters fast enough before they impatiently roll their eyes at me.

Here's a sample of a some of my cheaters.
Photobucket
Yep, I even keep the ones I broke an arm off of. Hey you never know when I might need them. In a pinch I'm willing to look like a complete fool to be able to see something up close. I have no shame anymore. I'm an old, pot bellied, wrinkly kneed, soon to have another chin gal.

Nope, I'm not handling it very well.
**giggle**

Photobucket
These blue ones are my favorite.

Happy Monday!
:> )

14 comments:

Penny said...

I know the feeling! Today I had to break out my prescription sunglasses in the supermarket, as I forgot my regulars and couldn't read a thing! I've been known to wear them occasionally in restaurants, too....

Primitive Stars said...

Hello, I hear you all to well, glasses on glasses off, OMG!!!! I have a pair everywhere in the house,purse,car, ain`t no fun. Hate trying to read a price or something without glasses, so annoying, oh well. Blessings Francine.

Robin at The Primitive Hutch said...

To funny your the second person today that called their glasses cheaters!!! I must say their fashionable ~ I like the blue ones too!!! You really shouldn't be so hard on yourself!!!
Prim Blessings
Robin

bayrayschild said...

LMAO!!!

You have just described in detail my exact situation.
I threw out 3 pair within this past week bcause they were broken so I'm now down to 4 pair.
I was in Michaels the other day and purchased the same pair of blue glasses that you have.
I had to let my daughter and granddaughter read this and we all laughed together.
Thanks for posting this, now they know I'm not alone. Ha!

Audrey

Cindi said...

Oh I can so relate!! I think I almost had a little accident from laughing so hard at this post, another great part of growing old!
Be blessed!
Cindi

Janet - underthewillow said...

Welcome to my world LOL...looks like you've got a good collection going but just in case you haven't been here yet, a website called peeperspecs.com is fun :)

Janet

Janet - underthewillow said...

Welcome to my world LOL...looks like you've got a good collection going but just in case you haven't been here yet, a website called peeperspecs.com is fun :)

Janet

Janet - underthewillow said...

Welcome to my world LOL...looks like you've got a good collection going but just in case you haven't been here yet, a website called peeperspecs.com is fun :)

Janet

Janet - underthewillow said...

Welcome to my world LOL...looks like you've got a good collection going but just in case you haven't been here yet, a website called peeperspecs.com is fun :)

Janet

Countryfolk Keepsakes said...

Hee-hee!! Yippee!! I knew I wasn't alone!

Thanks, Janet! I'll have to check out that site. I do love funky cheaters.

Cindi, I hear you! We also have to worry about "that" on top of everything else! **giggle**

Audrey, you've got those blue ones too?! They fit great! I've gotta make another Michaels run and grab a few more pairs. I really need to toss those one armed glasses but I don't think I can do it! I need an intervention.

Robin, I don't mind poking fun at myself every now and again. I enjoy the belly laugh! I've always referred to them as "cheaters." Must be because I worked for an ophthalmologist for many years.

Me too Francine! I have them in every room in the house. Even in the bathroom.

Penny, I find myself in a panic when I don't have a pair within arm's length. Oooh I wonder if they make cheapy cheater sunglasses??!! I'd need a pair of those to add to my collection. :> )

Ali said...

It's like everything else isn't it, going South. I've worn glasses for years, but notice my eyesight has gotten worse since I turned 50.

Never mind. I figure the worse the eyesight, the less I'll be able to see everything else going to pot. LOL!

Ali x

P.S. don't forget, I'm over on Wordpress now. www.mrsgrumblebug.wordpress.com

Susan said...

I have a pair of clip on sunglasses that fit perfectly on my reading glasses. After my cataract surgery I had to abandon all the glasses in my Fred Sanford drawer and start buying "cheaters" again. Considering the success of my surgery, I'll take this any day. Love ya! (p.s. I'm wearing similar blue ones right now)

Dogpatch Primitives said...

hahahaha....I have cheaters for close up and cheaters for far away!!! The complication has been kicked up a notch. I just HATE this part of aging.

tj said...

...lol...You kill me! :o) I've never seen so many pairs of glasses belonging to one person! You're like most women are with shoes with the glasses...lol ;o) And btw, love the leopard print or is that a cow print(?) ones and the blue ones - nice! :o)

...I have to wear glasses all the time or I can wear contacts too, either one. Most of the time it's glasses. I have a pair of cheaters on my sewing table in case I have my contacts in and I need to see up close. My eyesight has always been bad, without glasses it's like trying to see thru a frosted shower door. :o\

...I lost it when you said, "I become Harry Houdini in the dairy aisle trying to untangle myself. When I'm finally freed, the guy stocking cottage sheese applauds." - Priceless! lol...lol... :oD

...Enjoy your day!

...Blessings from an old-pot bellied-wrinkly kneed-soon-to-have-another-chin-gal-from-Missouri :o)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...