Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I Still Miss Him So...

In lovin' memory of my wonderful Daddy.


April 1926
~
April 1, 1994









It was fourteen years ago today we had to say goodbye. He didn't make it to his 68th birthday. It was also Good Friday. Since then, Easter has never been the same.


A year and a half prior, he was diagnosed with lung cancer that metastized to his brain. Cancer is such a horrible and cruel disease. It eats away at every fiber of your bein'. I remember prayin' to the Lord above, "Please dear Lord, don't let him suffer."
I knew He couldn't make him well, so my prayers were always to make him as comfortable as He could. Daddy never showed us he was in pain so I had faith my prayers were answered.


With the help of Hospice, he was able to be home the last few weeks of his life. Home is where he belonged with us by his side. These Hospice folks are truly angels sent from above. I can't praise this organization enough. They are so special.


That Good Friday, daddy was unconscious and his breathin' was labored. I think mama was in denial; but I knew in my heart he wouldn't make it through the night.


As my sister and I stood by his bedside cryin', we told him we knew he had to leave us now and that it was okay. He fought as long as he could but he was tired and it was time to go home to Jesus.


After we spoke, he ever so slightly opened his eyes. We were able to see his beautiful (but glassy) baby blues one last time. As he did, a faint smile came to his face as one tear rolled down his cheek.


He then took one last breath and died. I will never forget that moment as long as I live. It was so peaceful. So spiritual. My life changed completely that night.


Did he see Jesus? I do believe he did.


Goodbye Daddy...



14 comments:

~The Country Junction said...

I cried as I read your post about your Dad, I too lost my dad (four years ago this past Feb to the same terrible disease and your story was SO similar to mine, from the wonderful people at hospice, all the way down to seeing Dad's beautiful blue eyes one last time at the very end - it's a moment I will hold in my heart forever and will NEVER forget, being with someone as they pass is so heartbreaking yet comforting in some strange way. God Bless you and will be thinking of you today.{{Hugs}}

Cookie said...

((((Oh Goob))))
I know your heart aches for your daddy.
I can relate to exactly what you feel ... I was blessed to know my mom for 11 full years. I'm thankful that she taught me the foundations that have lasted with me to this day, but so many questions I would love to have asked her as an adult.
Know that I'm praying for you and lifting you up, buddy! I care so much!!
x0x0

tj said...

...Oh Karin, this post is so beautiful and so are you. No doubt your father had so much to be proud of especially having you for a daughter...

...My heart and prayers go to you dear girl. What a wonderful tribute - thank you for sharing this.

...Blessings...

kat449 said...

Awww Peanut,
I lost my Daddy last Sept. Im still reelin in grief. Thank God for memories and experiences that we can keep tucked deeply, & closely to our hearts.
What beautiful pics, thanks for sharing a small part of you and your Daddy with all of us.
What a beautiful bride you are. Look at how proud your Daddy was. Can you just imagine what his heart was feelin on that day he gave you to another man? THAT brings tears to my eyes. Hugs, Kat

Primitive Sisters said...

Thank you so much for sharing about your Daddy. I lost my Husband in 1998 from cancer. I had an experience like you wrote. While is was very hard to him go, it was a beautiful experience to watch him step into Heaven. Last August, I would have never thought that my daughter, who is 30 years old, would go through losing her husband to cancer as well. We all share a bond. We have walked through it. I have a song on our blog that I dedicated to Sue from 2Stitchen. Life is short and everyday is a gift. Hugs, Tammie

Dogpatch Primitives said...

oh Peanut, I know now why you are feeling so low today :(
How very sad to hear how you lost your Daddy, and I sure can feel that you were so very close with him. I realize your Easters must not be the same, since that very sad day, even though you knew your Dad's suffering would end, it cannot be easy to say goodbye to someone whom you've loved and worshipped your entire life. I'm so sorry your Dad had to go. I can just feel your immense sadness, even today.

Dogpatch Primitives said...

oh, and yes, the beautiful folks from Hospice are most certainly sent from Heaven above.

Chatty Kathy~Palmetto Prims said...

God bless you Peanut!! I lost my Dad and Mom one year apart and the grief was unbearable at times. I feel and share your sadness with you.

Blondie ~ Vintage Primitives said...

Hi sweetie
I have thought of you all day. I don't know this pain as you know I still have my folks. I just can't imagine a day without the sunshine of their love.
Arms around you.
Blondie

Nancy Lee Malay said...

Though I know you still feel so much sadness since your dear Dad passed away, I can't help but think what a blessing to have all of you there with him during his final moments. I loved looking at all of the photos, especially of you and your Dad walking down the aisle! I'm sure he is smiling down on you today, Karin, proud as he was that day!

Laura said...

Karin your story brought tears to my eyes. I think most know how you feel.The loss of any family member to cancer is so hard.I lost my Grandmother last year to it. It shows no mercy to its victims or their families.The pain last a long time. The only comfort we can have is that they are always with us.Your Dad is with you each day holding your hand and guiding your steps.My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family tonight.

tattered 'n torn prims said...

God bless you today Peanut! My heart feels for you and your pain...and yet what a blessing for them huh!! To pass from this life must be such an awesome experience, yes indeed Jesus was there to meet him and carry your dad home!! Life here on earth is never quite the same tho' is it? God bless you my dear friend!!
Stace

Susan said...

God Bless You Peanut. I know the feeling. I lost my mother, and my mother-in-law 11 and 12 years ago in March. They died almost exactly one year apart. I think God left my Mom here long enough to help us over the loss of my husband's mother. You will alway have great memories and lots of pictures. Hugs to you.
Susan K.

Doreen said...

Oh Peanut...I'm so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing these wonderful pictures and memories with us all.

Big hugs,
Doreen

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