"Not Available In Stores..."

Have ya seen some of these commercials?

Since the T.V. remote is out of reach, I have no choice but to watch them as I'm pedalin' on my exercise bike first thing in the mornin'.

I'm sure some of these products are fine but their advertisin' is "slightly" embellished to say the least.
So please don't get your wears in a wad if you love these products. I'm just havin' a lil' fun. And as my mama would say, "Its just my opinion and everyone is entitled to it."

Let's take for example the "Pedipaws Nail Trimmer." When I first saw it I thought, "Boy, this is great!" But as I watched, I noticed at no time is the thing actually on. They are rollin' away on the nails of that cute pooch but its not spinnin'. No wonder the dog doesn't flinch.

Can you see my hubs holdin' Gracie down with this contraption?
Heck, I doubt any critter is goin' to allow you to roll motorized sandpaper across their tootsies unless you've hit 'em with a tranquilizer dart first.

Next, there's the "Tweeze Hair Remover." Mind you, I'm not even lookin' at the product. I'm lookin' at the poor gal who allowed herself to be seen on national television with whiskers like Slowpoke Rodriguez.
Sorry, but there is no amount of money that could get me to show any of my unwanted week old chin stragglers like that.

How about the "Ped Egg" foot file?
If you're scrapin' that much dead skin off any part of your body, I'm gettin' you a sandblaster for Christmas.
My gag reflex kicks in every time I see the sweet gal empty that egg full of scaly epidermis into the trash. I admit my heels are rough and dry, but I'm a lil' apprehensive about usin' a cheese grater on them.

I recently saw the "SpinLash" commercial. Its mascara with a brush that spins. I guess it saves you from all that wrist breakin' action you suffer when twirlin' on your mascara.
All I have to say is put that $19.99 (+$9.99 S&H) back in your pocket and put it towards the bridge I want to sell you.

:> )