Yep, I'm Still Alive...

Man, I have done nothin' all weekend but mope round blowin' my nose, coughin' and not bein' able to breathe because of the congestion.

I've had to sleep upright like the Elephant Man and I now sound like James Earl Jones. "Luke, I am your father." My nose is so red and chapped, I have a strikin' resemblance to Lisa Loopner from the old SNL skits.

As I laid around it brought me back to when I was a young'un and all the crazy remedies mama used on us. I guess what didn't kill us made us stronger. :> ) Besides, mama only did what she thought was right.

I remember the first sign of a sniffle, out came the Vicks VapoRub. I swear she greased me up like a squeaky wheel. Nose, throat, chest. It was everywhere. Heck, I think she swabbed my tongue with that stuff once. The worst part was how it made my pajama top stick to me.

Then there was the "famous" mustard plaster. I'm all for holistic medicine but this did nothin' but smell bad and give me second degree burns.

The salt water gargle worked until I accidently swallowed some. It was like swimmin' in the Atlantic Ocean minus the sand in my bathin' suit drawers.

Remember Vicks Formula 44? (Before they lowered the alcohol ratio) She could have handed me a shot of whiskey instead and it would have had the same effect. Man, I wouldn't wake up for hours after a dose of that stuff.

If all else failed there was the ol' enema. Nothin' like gettin' your pipes cleaned out when ya have sore throat. I guess it did take my mind off my sore throat.

I asked hubs what his mama did for him and her cure all was to take an aspirin. Heck, I would have taken an aspirin over an enema any day. I still would.

But the best remedy was from my daddy. When I was sick, he would bring me home a hamburger, small fries and a chocolate milkshake from McDonalds. Of course this was well before the whole Happy Meal thing. But it made me happy just the same.

The other day hubs asked me if I wanted "the usual" from McDonalds... :> )